Alcoholic Absolution

by
posted on March 11, 2014
gsagi2015_fs.jpg

It wouldn’t be fair to the men and women working in the Judicial System if I said it was completely broken; there are some fine folks trying to make things better. However, when I attended court proceedings this month for the criminal who tried to smash her way into my home, I witnessed enough to set law-abiding gun owners-who by definition rarely find themselves in criminal court-on edge. It was quite an education.

At 10:45 a.m., as I was entering the county courthouse, an apparently under-the-influence-of-something couple approached and asked if I was an attorney. Their clothes were noticeably dirty, he was unshaven, her hair was uncombed and they cleared security right behind me. Being poor or living on the street doesn’t make you a bad person, but upon entering the courtroom I discovered they were in dress code and I was not.

There were five ties in a room filled with roughly 70 people-worn by two bailiffs, two district attorneys and myself. Three sport coats were in attendance, the DAs’ and mine. The judge had on a red bow tie. In the audience-of-accused there were tennis shoes, work boots and sandals.  Not everyone can afford decent clothes, but the deliberate disrespect for the authority of the courtroom was obvious in hoodies hiding heads, camo raincoats that remained on during proceedings and holey T-shirts.

Remember, this is criminal court, not an early morning arraignment as they drain the drunk tank. I decided it best to sit as far back as possible, so I pardoned myself by a woman wearing Jack Daniels perfume with eyes redder than a road map to Cincinnati.

Sometime around the third or fourth case she began some sort of unnatural gurgling, so I didn’t hear the entire conversation at the bench. I was, however, able to hear the DA tell the judge, “Unfortunately we’re understaffed and overworked, so things like this do happen.” “So you’re free to go,” the judge said disgustedly after delivering a short lecture. The accusations of drug trafficking were dropped due to some sort of paperwork snafu. Without saying so much as a “thank you,” the no-longer-accused turned and strode out of the courtroom with Hollywood defiance.

More than half of the chairs in the gallery section had their arms broken off, so it was sort of a relief when the DA called my name and finally moved me up front for my case. I say sort of, because my back was to everyone-and we all know how that turned out for Wild Bill Hickok.

The plea agreement was already set, so there was no need to address the judge. One-year probation with substance-abuse monitoring and counseling, a no-contact order, I get my $500 homeowner’s deductible back (paying higher premiums thanks to the incident) and the court recoups about $200 in costs. The perp’s high-priced attorney hinged the defense on the fact that his client was drunk and had no criminal intent-alcoholic absolution, so to speak, where all is forgiven and forgotten, except my memory of the night, when my AR-15 pointing directly at an unblinking zombie did absolutely nothing to stop a criminal attack.

Latest

Rossi R92 Gotw Web
Rossi R92 Gotw Web

Gun Of The Week: Davidson’s Exclusive Rossi R92

Follow American Rifleman staff to the range in this week's video and learn about a Davidson's Exclusive variant of Rossi USA's R92 lever-action rifle.

New For 2024: Taylor's & Company TC73 Rifle

It has been more than 100 years since the Winchester Model 1873 was last made in America, but Taylor's & Company is bringing back an American-made Model 1873 with its TC73 rifle.

The Armed Citizen® May 17, 2024

Read today's "The Armed Citizen" entry for real stories of law-abiding citizens, past and present, who used their firearms to save lives.

James Reid’s "My Friend" Knuckle Dusters

With a pocket of cash, family in tow and a mind for machining, Irish-born James Reid's foresight led him and his Knuckle Duster revolvers into the annals of firearms history.

Hodgdon Powder Acquires RCBS Reloading

Hodgdon Powder Company purchased RCBS Reloading from Revelyst, a segment of Vista Outdoor, early this month.

Preview: Scalarworks Leap/04

Scalarworks developed its Leap line of quick-detach optic mounts to be among the lightest yet strongest such products on the market.

Interests



Get the best of American Rifleman delivered to your inbox.